Bears and kitchens were mean for each other.

From: Melancholy murderer.:
And then the angry pirates all died of heart attaches because they spent to many afternoons eating deep fried bear meat.

From: Tortilinie, Soul Salesman.:
those darn pirates.
>:/

i told them time and time again what that would do to their health, but would they listen?
NO.
damn pirates. -.-
but at least the bears were pleased.

From: Melancholy murderer.:
But what will the bears do now that their pirates are dead?

From: Tortilinie, Soul Salesman.:
they'll open a bakery.
and sell beautiful pastries out of a drivethru window.
also, in the summer, they'll bring out your food on roller skates.

From: Melancholy murderer.:
Hmmmmm… that sounds awfully familiar.

From: Tortilinie, Soul Salesman.:
you mean that summer we went to the drive in?
yeah.those weren't hairy men, those were bears.

that explains the hairs you found in your fries. =/

From: Melancholy murderer.:
I just don’t think bears are meant to be in the kitchen.

Then we had a long debate in english over this, but i can't remember what was said.
although, all of Draper's points were incorrect and WRONG.
therefore making mine right.
during our debate, this went from a joke to a heavily serious argument.
i am determined to defend the honor of the mentioned bears.
later....

From: Tortilinie, Soul Salesman.:
dude, they're SO meant to be.
like- macaroni and cheese.
it's magical.

From: Melancholy murderer.:
but there paws just aren't cooking shaped

From: Tortilinie, Soul Salesman.:
sure they are...
but sometimes they drop the pans of boiling water
and come home to their bear-families with third degree burns.

From: Melancholy murderer.:
That is just so sad and cute that I think I will just agree with you
I can see them shambling through the door, paws all bandaged
They flop down in their chair and are having second thoughts about there career as a cook
But their family reassures them and they feel a new appreciation at how they rely on those around them
But if their paws where meant for cooking they wouldn’t have burned themselves in the first place
So there

From: Tortilinie, Soul Salesman.:
NOW THEY MUST KILL YOU, DRAPER.


From: Melancholy murderer.:
well thats not nice
I pull out my bag of dice and roll a twelve
Summoning my magic carpet and flying away in a cloud of sparkles
HAHAHAHAHAHAH, you can't get me now


From: Tortilinie, Soul Salesman.:
D:
well, guess what?
i whip out my level 13 ice sword and spear you right through a tree.
what now?
>:D

DON'T FEED FISHSTICKS TO A SEAGULL! :D

I was thinking the other day about my last birthday party. There was an incident with seagulls [DON’T FEED FISHSTICKS TO A SEAGUL!] that I feel is worth recording.
So my brother is standing over on the sidewalk at Lucky Peak, pouring a bucket of water on something and laughing. I have a strong feeling that this has something to do with cruelty to animals in some way, so I investigate.
“What’re you doing?” “Pouring water on ants.” AND YOU KNOW WHAT HE WAS DOING? HE WAS POURING WATER- ON ANTS! “HAHA! Look at them SQUIRM!” “HAYDEN!” *smack* “OW!”
I throw the bucket into the sand and try to stop the flooding from killing any more than it already had of this little colony my STUPID brother had stumbled upon. My wonderful friends[Amanda, Nin, and Betsey] decided to leave an offering to compensate for the lives lost.
We dropped some Oreos into the panicked rush of ants running towards their fallen loved ones, and suddenly they changed their course towards the food. We stood and watched them for a moment proudly, and feeling like we’d done our duty, we turned and walked away. BUT THEN…
There was a squawk behind us, and as we turned we saw, as if in slow motion, a seagull slowly swoop towards the ground while the ants swarmed over the Oreo, not suspecting a thing- and the seagull lands next to them. I gasp, knowing what is about to happen.
“Don’t do it- NO-”
The seagull looks at me, then back at the ant-covered Oreo.
-AND HE TAKES OFF WITH THE OREO.
“NOOOOOO!”
Nin screams-
“OHMIGAWD IT’S A SEAGULL!”
And runs in panicked circles.
So we left more offerings this time. After all, even MORE lives had been lost in this tragic accident. …AND THEN MORE SEAGULLS CAME. We waved our arms through the air, chasing them off- or at least everyone but Nin who was busy screaming, “OHMIGAWD SEAGULLS OHMIGAWD SEAGULLS…”
I ran at them.
“DON’T YOU DARE!”
…but they got the Oreos anyway.
Finally, we gave up trying to feed the colony. My stupid ideas only caused them more harm. It makes me think of the time my mom told me about when she worked at Jim’s Appliance- there were these guys on the loading dock playing with a stick bug and trying to rip its legs off. My mom walks right up and nonchalantly grabs the poor thing before they even realize it. They follow her as she walks down to the end of the dock and lets it free.
…but as it’s flying away, a bird swoops down AND EATS IT. D:
I know right?

But at least we TRIED to help these poor creatures.

-.-