Grandpa, going senile.

So this guy is already crazy as hell, but my madre, grandmadre, and I have come to the conclusion that he's getting worse everyday.

So my mom is talking to my grandpa and he hands her this package of string cheese to take home and eat.
So mom starts to eat one-
And she realizes that it tastes rather funny- to the point where she's getting nauseous.
So she looks at the expiration date and it reads-
USE BY NOV. 21ST, 2007.

Shocked, madre ambles on in to the kitchen where she finds grandpa devouring a chicken wing and about a dozen more attachments of birds that lay eggs, mostly on farms.
I mean, literally devouring.
So mom goes, "DAD! These have been expired for almost a year now!"
Not even looking up, he goes, "they were in the freezer."

*continues to eat*

"…that doesn't make them any less dangerous! I had one and I'm not feeling to good right now."
"I guess you're right."
*chop chop, slurp slurp*
"If you aren't going to take them, put them back in the freezer, I'll eat them later."
*shocked silence*
*chop slurp*
"DAD, are you SERIOUS? Those'll kill you!"

.. ..Okay, for the record, I know it sounds like he was messing with us, but when he does that, he usually laughs between each sentence because he thinks he's so damn hilarious.
This man was NOT joking.
NOT messing around.
NOT trying to freak us out.
He was SERIOUS.
He was CEREAL.
With MILK.

"No- I don't want to waste it. It's perfectly good."
...Then he reached out and took the package, pulling out a string cheese and setting it beside his chicken, shoveling the rest into his gut with furious slurps.

Mom pulls back the package slowly.
"Um- actually, I'll just take them home and uh, eat them- if I get sick, I'll call you-"
"WELL DON'T CALL ME, CALL THE HOSPITAL, MOLLY!"

"Dad, are you doing okay?"

Then he proceeded to choke on a chicken wing.
I can imagine bits of cooked bird and old man spit flew everywhere.

"Whoa, Dad! Are you…? Can I…? What can…?"
*coughchokeslurpchoke* "not- *coughslurp* I can't talk to- *slurpchokecoughgag* later- go away."
*chokegagblechcoughgag*
He stopped choking, took a moment to recover, then went at it on the chicken wing again.
Mom stood in a shocked silence before walking slowly out of the room, taking the string cheese with her.

....She asked grandma if he was doing okay, and she whispered, "It gets worse everyday."