The Prostitute.

Manda and I spent our entire English period passing some pretty interesting notes.

We were walking to class and I said, "Looks like we have a fat substitute for English,"
And she goes, "Wait- I thought you said fat PROSTITUTE."

So we go in the room and she takes one look at him and goes, "you were right, after all."
I looked at him and laughed. "Did you think I would disappoint you?"
"Ohhh, of course not."
So we were allowed to move around and we both settled on the floor. A yellow post it note flew my way.

The prostitute-
He is delicious,
Just as I like them.

I stifled my laughter and wrote back,

Oh, yes. I enjoy the plump ones as well.

A few moments later, she replied,

The more meat…
The greasier the bun.
MY bun.
Oh! Innuendo.

Not to mention the chunky ta-tas.
A prostitute MUST have the chunky ta-tas.

Yes. He's probably also got some nice sausage loads.
Maybe a size 12….
SHOE.
Like sausage toes.

Ohhh, the SAUSAGE TOES-
What I'd do to touch one of those
BIG, FAT, HAIRY-
Toes.

I can taste those sausages…
I want them to spew their greases into my…
Hand…
As I give him a
Foot massage. =]

Ooer.
Don't forget to use the peacock feathers.
They're a wonderful way to secks up the afternoon.

Oh yes. The peacock feathers.
I'd like to ruffle those peacock feathers,
And the 19-inch
Disco stick.
His arm, I mean.

I always wanted a disco stick. If I had one,
I'd spend hours just ruffling myself
All
Night
Long.

Yeah. I came to school,
And upon seeing those disco sticks
Swinging freely,
I immediately found the nearest bathroom
And ruffled vigorously.

That was YOU in the stall next to me?
I feel so honored
To have shared such a moment with you.

Yay!
I'm sorry if some of my
Sausage grease
Landed in your stall!

Oh, don't be sorry!
It was the best time I've had in the presence of disco sticks-
Aside from the time you and I were at that party.

I still have the videotapes…
and the cowboy costumes.

Why didn't you tell me?
We can have a reenactment now.

OH YES!
There's the costume-
*draws cowboy boots/hat*
that's all you get to wear!!

Do we still get to use the lassos?
And the saddles?

Only if you want to.
=]
lasso THIS!
*draws something long that says "12 inches" above it*
it's my finger.

Oh dear lordy!
I almost forgot the popcorn butter!

Oh! OHH!
GIDDYUP!
*ruffles*
I'm working up a sweat.

We should invite Ivan-
[character from the story we were both reading]
-to join us.
him and that whip of his!

Yeah! And that nice big gun.
I wanna put my hands
On the trigger until it
Shoots four rounds.

I hope that gun can fit in my oven,
Even though it isn't French.
;]

but it's "been in tight places before".
…wink wink.

Lube should help.
.

Yeah.
Lots and lots of lube-
Watermelon flavored.
This sounds like it's time to use the ol' shackles.

You make me feel like a naughty cop tickling a tellie tubbie!
:D

You make me feel like Barney's special helper!
:D <3

That used to be MY job.
Until Thomas the Train's truck driver stole it.

Oh, he "Drove" that train
ALL OVER.
I want to work as Elmo's personal whore.

You'd have to kill his goldfish, Goldy, first.
Flush that bitch!

And then class ended.
But when I got home, I found these in my pocket.
Such a wonderful use of the post-it notes Mrs. Veigel gave us. :]