Friday, July 17, 2009

Because that's how it really happened.

Biology room, sub-zero degrees. [as usual.]

David- "So, you know, the whales were all wolves once."
Jordan- "...what?"
David- "You know, whales evolved from the wolves."
Jordan- "...Really, now?"
David- "Yeah, you know, because like- well, the wolf ran out of food on land, so it jumped in the water to, like, eat some seaweed or something. And then it like, became a whale."
*silence*
David- "But then, like, if you're bleeding, or something, a shark will, like, FIND YOU. But you see, if you have a bad fin, you can still like, you know, do stuff.... the message is, DON'T LET STUFF GET YOU DOWN, whether it be a bad fin, or an extra toe- OH! I knew a girl with an extra toe once!"



Saturday, July 11, 2009

MOOSE! I have been SPEARED!

The Definition:

Geometry (noun)- The class in which many great occurrences... occur.


Somehow, in our little geometry class, we seem to stumble upon the most wonderfully pointless conversations, which drive Mr. Renak mad.

We’re sitting there, and suddenly out of the blue, Miles goes,

“You know how to call a moose?”

“How?”

He paused.

“Here, moose.”

This led onto another crazy conversation that had nothing to do with anything in particular.

“So this man gets speared, and in his last dying breath he stutters, ‘...hh-hhHERE MOOSE!’”

Michael, of course, took the lead in the making this conversation twenty times more odd.

“And suddenly, five moose just come galloping into the clearing, and they say, ‘What’s wrong, Sir?’”

Mr. Renak was obviously not impressed. “Do I need to give you guys more work?”

“…and he goes, ‘Moose, I have been SPEARED!’”

“Stop. Please. This is really getting irritating.”

“…and suddenly the moose look at him and all his body parts are suddenly lifted into the air and they reform themselves together…”

“STOP. NOW.”

Haha. Let’s not forget many other great topics that have slowly deteriorated Mr. Renak’s brain cells:

“And he’s a rapping dog, and he has this life time supply of noodles, but he HATES noodles, so the whole game is about him rapping to get rid of the noodles…”

“And he walks up to this vending machine that has a sign on it that says, ‘This is not a time machine’ and he goes, ‘bull shit!’ and goes through the time machine…”

“And Les Stroud is SUCH a cheater! He only wishes he was as cool of a survivor as Bear Grylls…”

“And it always ends with Scully and Mulder beating on the aliens with big elbows and Scully yelling, ‘Oh, Mulder! I’m so sorry I didn’t believe you about the aliens with the big elbows!’…”

“And that’s when Bear Grylls decided to take shelter inside of a dead camel…”

“You might think you’re never going to use this theorem in real life, but what would you do if you’re building a house and Ocea[sp?] comes down there and goes, ‘HEY, ARE YOU LEGIT?’”

“So, what should we-” *hand shoots up* “NO, SHELBY! WE’RE NOT WATCHING TEETH!”

“And so if you don’t pay off the debts on your organs, the Repossession Man will come and rip the organ right out of your body while you’re still alive. It’s totally gory. OH, and it’s a MUSICAL!”

“No, because the only time you’d need to know the angle of depression in real life would be if you were on a cliff and your dog was on the beach below getting attacked by a shark, and you wanted to know how far of an angle you would be jumping to save him, so you kneel down and start writing out the problem in the dirt whilst your dog is being attacked…”

“Now, don’t go home and tell your parents that in today in geometry you got to watch a video of a man drinking his own urine and eating a giant spider.”

And let’s not forget everyone’s FAVORITE argument…

“TEACH US ABOUT NEGATIVE ANGLES!”

“NO!”

“YOU HAVE TO!”

“NO, I REFUSE!”





The Definition:

Geometry (noun)- The class in which many great occurrences... occur.

.. ..

Somehow, in our little geometry class, we seem to stumble upon the most wonderfully pointless conversations, which drive Mr. Renak mad.

We’re sitting there, and suddenly out of the blue, Miles goes,

“You know how to call a moose?”

“How?”

He paused.

“Here, moose.”

This led onto another crazy conversation that had nothing to do with anything in particular.

“So this man gets speared, and in his last dying breath he stutters, ‘...hh-hhHERE MOOSE!’”

Michael, of course, took the lead in the making this conversation twenty times more odd.

“And suddenly, five moose just come galloping into the clearing, and they say, ‘What’s wrong, Sir?’”

Mr. Renak was obviously not impressed. “Do I need to give you guys more work?”

“…and he goes, ‘Moose, I have been SPEARED!’”

“Stop. Please. This is really getting irritating.”

“…and suddenly the moose look at him and all his body parts are suddenly lifted into the air and they reform themselves together…”

“STOP. NOW.”

The Definition:

Geometry (noun)- The class in which many great occurrences... occur.

.. ..

Somehow, in our little geometry class, we seem to stumble upon the most wonderfully pointless conversations, which drive Mr. Renak mad.

We’re sitting there, and suddenly out of the blue, Miles goes,

“You know how to call a moose?”

“How?”

He paused.

“Here, moose.”

This led onto another crazy conversation that had nothing to do with anything in particular.

“So this man gets speared, and in his last dying breath he stutters, ‘...hh-hhHERE MOOSE!’”

Michael, of course, took the lead in the making this conversation twenty times more odd.

“And suddenly, five moose just come galloping into the clearing, and they say, ‘What’s wrong, Sir?’”

Mr. Renak was obviously not impressed. “Do I need to give you guys more work?”

“…and he goes, ‘Moose, I have been SPEARED!’”

“Stop. Please. This is really getting irritating.”

“…and suddenly the moose look at him and all his body parts are suddenly lifted into the air and they reform themselves together…”

“STOP. NOW.”

Its Simplest Atoms

Its Simplest Atoms

I caught a split second in the palm of my hand, taking it and analyzing its every chromosome, every ounce of the genetic makeup of the moment Your gaze stole Mine.

The cliché of “Love at First Sight” manifests itself into reality, revealing how so many before Us have miscalculated its value so carelessly, for to have used it before that minuscule moment would bring the term to shame-
Nothing in this world is seems worthy at the side of the match that lit the flame of
You & Me.

When Debbie Downer stole my lips, You smothered all doubts and called me ‘Pretty’.
Although the flirtatious banter was emitted from the mouth of a seal, I knew the message came straight from You.
The sound of spinning chairs flying from one side of the classroom to the other charge spark after spark, resulting in an ignited fire, a love of chess and fortune cookie messages spreading day by day.

That afternoon in the park, a promise to myself was broken and I revealed the secrets my smile covered, but in place of turning away as others before had done, You held me, Our cheeks pressed together as every childhood confession poured out onto the ground in front of
Our eyes.
Never had I felt
As safe,
As cared for, or
As understood
As I did enveloped in Your embrace.

Toby Keith paints a picture We had yet to fulfill, the dancing Our feet performed foreshadowing the dancing Our lips would soon ensue.

The sky above gazes down upon Us,
The sun warming Our smiles and thawing all uncertainty as You utter the words I’d moments before doubted to have been saved for Me, all fears diminished as that First Kiss took stride.
That Blue-Marble world was Ours and Ours alone, each meeting of lips increasing my awareness of the power these feelings gave Us-
We owned the clouds, We owned the trees,
The wind belonged only to Us and each Rose-Garden Afternoon was Ours to posses.

Such sensations of euphoria have a name that goes light years beyond anything anyone could ever fully understand,
For there are no words in the human language complex enough to describe it.

Even as I break each moment of the existence of Us down to its simplest atoms, it still remains impossible to comprehend how I could have believed anything before This to be deemed as Love.

"I love you, Shelby."
"I love you, too."

“When You kiss Me like this, I think You mean it like that,

If You do, baby, kiss Me again.”

Saturday, July 4, 2009

Jesus and his sword.

So. I had this dream the other night.

It started out with these two guys, and their friend died. They wanted to talk to him again, so they camped in the woods to try to find his lost soul or whatever.
Oh. and Kevin Hou was there, with ghost summoning things in his locker for them.
=/
The dream continued, and the guys started fighting over blankets, because they were camping outdoors and whatnot. Then, the ghost of their friend appeared, and one of the guys was talking to him, but the other guy thought he was a lunatic because he couldn't see him.
Then, this lady walks up and tells them their friend was never really dead at all,pretending he was dead, but rather, they were only for whatever reason.
=/

So, the next part of the dream is where it gets bizarre.


I'm looking into this house, and it's like a doll house or something, but suddenly, I'm inside it. The people can't see me, but I can see them.
There's a bunch of church guys in beige robes, and then there was Jesus. I'm not sure how I knew it was Jesus, but it totally was.
They're standing in this room, which has a bunch of crosses and stuff on the walls. The room is totally trashed. Chairs, tables, and plates were all over the place.

Jesus looked at the mess disappointingly.
"I allowed the virgins to hold their tea parties in here, but as you can see, they have trashed the room."
with his hands on his hips, he turned to the other robed men.
"Not only have they wrecked the room, they took far too much time, and we were unable to set up the dining hall. On top of this, cleaning up will take time as well. Now, because they took too long, everyone will have to wait to eat."
He paused before proclaiming,
"Let's KILL the bitches!"

...and that's when Jesus and all the other beige-robed men whipped out these giant SWORDS from behind their backs.

O_O

The dream goes on, but unfortunately is not as odd as Jesus and his sword.
I'm sitting at this table with a bunch of people I've never seen before, and the Jesus sword people are gone. There were name plates in front of the chairs, indicating where to sit. The one next to me said 'Dooby'.
I got all excited because I hadn't seen Dooby in so long.
This is were the dream becomes once again quite peculiar.
There was a high chair right next to her seat, and the kid looked EXACTLY like her. I mean, down to a T. Also, the baby had pink hair, like Dooby had the last time I saw her.
"OH! SO DOOBY HAD A BABY! That's why I haven't heard from her in so long, because she was busy being pregnant!"

haha. wait until she reads this. =]

Then, this little girl comes up with a bottle and starts feeding the baby, and I realize the kid is NOT Dooby's, but the little girl's.
O_O
I asked a guy who was apparently her dad,
"How old is she?" D:
He goes, "Oh, she's eleven, but we wanted her to have a child so we talked to the state and they said as long as it was with someone her own age, it was okay."
"...where'd you find another parent willing to supply the other child?"
"Oh, we didn't have to- it was her brother."
O_O

haha, yeah. That was my dream.
The rest is just incoherent pieces I don't really get.
But Jesus and his sword was my favorite part.
=]