Screaming Through My Fingers: Expose yourself to the oregon coast! *drops pants*

Tortilinie's Trip to the Oregon Coast! :D

Friday.

We're in Baker City-
THAT'S RIGHT!
OREGON! :D
hoorah! hoorah!
Oregon, Oregon, Oh-reh-gone! :D
Ocean, Ocean, Oh-shh-in! :D

Hopefully, there will be no instances with angry dead jellyfish this year. =/

Later. . .

fun fun.
We stopped at a rest stop and everyone but me was attacked by a furious swarm of mosquitoes. =/
They were all in the facilities whilst I was walking the dogs around, and suddenly, my dad, my stepmom, and my little brother come flying back, screaming, "GET IN THE CAR! JUST GET IN THE CAR!"
As they approached, I saw several mildly thick swarms of what looked like gnats, but were, rather, blood-sucking insects.
So, I got bit like, three or four times, and everyone else is covered in bites/smooshed bug guts & bodies. =/

Later. . .
ohmygoodness.

Three guess where we are. :D
No, we're not at the hospital.
No, we're not at the grocery store.
No, we're not at the strip club.

You lose. We're at the ocean. :D
The ocean is the sex.
I want to sex the ocean.
Only, not really, because there's creepy crawly things in there. =/

OCEAN! :D" width="181" border="0" height="242">

Later. . .

Oh dear. My brother is running around waving a hatchet over his head.
This is NOT a good sign. D:

Saturday.
Good morning. :D
It's more-nee-guh, and we're at the...
No, not the hospital.
No, not the grocery store.
No, not the strip club.

Gosh, you lose again!
We're at the beach. :D

The kids at the beach are SO cute. :D
Two of them wanted to meet Enrique. =]
I didn't let him speak, of course, considering he's such a potty mouth. >=/
I wonder if any of the parents would notice if I took one of the kids home with me...

In a tree! :D" width="146" border="0" height="195">

Later. . .

Ohmigoo-ness.
You might not believe it, but Enrique's relatives came to visit him RIGHT HERE ON THIS VERY BEACH. O:
Honest to blog.
I'm sitting there, reading on my towel, when my brother comes flying up, screaming,
"SSSSHHHEEEELLLLBEEEE!!!"
He didn't look hurt or in danger of any sort, so I chose to ignore him.
"SSSSHHHEEEELLLLBEEEE!!! SSSSHHHEEEELLLLBEEEE!!!"
"....OKAY, what do you want?"
"...There are seals in the ocean!"
"...I know, that's where they live."
"No, I mean, we saw one!"
I found it hard to believe that seals would get that close to humans, that close to a public beach SWARMING with them.
"Really, now? And can Dad confirm that was what you REALLY saw?"
"YES! Come look!"
That's when I noticed the gathering spectators around mi padre, so I decided to follow. =/
And what do you think I saw?
No, not the hospital.
No, not the grocery store.
No, not the strip club.
God, you SUCK at this game. :D

Do not feed/harass the sea lions." border="0">
We saw black things popping their heads out of the water in the distance. :D
Enrique began to scream,
"MY PEOPLE! YOU'RE NOT ALL COATS!!!"

...So I had to restrain him to prevent him from escaping by burying him up to his neck in the sand. =/

Enrique tried to swim back to Antarctica, so I detained him by burying him in the sand." width="189" border="0" height="141">

Later. . .

I've been having quite a bit of fun "That's what she said"-ing my brother.
"It's just so WIDE, and so DEEP!" [the ocean, that is.]
"That's what she said."
"And you're able to fit so much STUFF in it! It's so amazing to think about."
"That's what she said."
"It's so HUGE, you can't even see the end of it from down there!"
"That's what she said."
"And if you- ...oh. Oh, damn you! I just got that!"
"That's what she said."
"Shut up."
"That's what she said."
*throws sand dollar at sister*
"...That's what she said."

Later. . .

I tried to make a mermaid body around Enrique's head out of sand, but it just doesn't look right. =/
He's too manly to be a convincing mermaid. =/

Later. . .

OHMIDEARLORDYLORDY.
We just got back from a five hour hike. D:
Also, I may or may not have had to get to know some bushes better than I would've liked to... -.-
Anyway, a friend of mi padre's said that Cape Trail was one of the most beautiful places he's ever hiked, and he's been hiking in like, Bolivia, and exotic places like that. =/
As we started out, I believed him to be right, and during the first 45 minutes, it just kept getting increasingly breath taking. :D

Cape Lookout Trails! :D" width="152" border="0" height="203">

The start of our ridiculous five-hour hike. -.-" width="217" border="0" height="162">

BUT THEN, things started getting pretty icky. D: Mud covered EVERYTHING, and it was juts nasty- although we occasionally came across some stunning lookouts, giving us a glimpse of the ocean- in which we saw MORE SEALS. :D
People went by, increasing our expectations, going, "You're almost there! Keep going, IT'S WORTH IT!"
But, then, we got there.
And my dad goes, as we stare out at a rather plain view of a rim of the ocean,
"We came all the way up here for THIS?"

And sure, the top was great... fantastic, even.
But honestly, it was NOTHING compared to the first hour of hiking. >=/
I met a banana slug on the way down, though! :D
He was spotted.
and amazing.
and sluggy. :D

Mister Banana Slug! :D" width="214" border="0" height="173">

Sunday.
My brother and I were just playing that game where you throw food at someone's face and they have to catch it in their mouth. We're using almonds.
The first seventy or so bounced off his forehead/eye/chin/other eye. =/
"...OW! Aim for my mouth!"
"That's what she said."
"OW!"
Finally, he caught a grand total of four.
Oh, and did I mention we were playing in the middle of the campsite parking lot?
Yeah. and everyone was like, trying to drive around us and back up without running us over. It was pretty fantastic. :D

Later. . .

Gasp! My step mom says we're going to see The Octopus Tree! :D
This means I'm going to get to pick myself a baby octopus! :DDD
When I turn into a grown-up, I want to fill my yard with these magical trees so they'll grow me baby octopi! :D

Later. . .

We just got back from the lice house [yes, LICE! :D] and the octopus tree.

Lighthouse! :D" width="119" border="0" height="158">

I was very disappointed to discover that it didn't really grow baby octopi.
D:
It was horrifying.
My dad assured me that we had just gotten there too late, and that they had already ripened and someone picked them all, but they really DID grow on the tree- which is good, I suppose, because that means I can still fill my yard with them. :D

I was quite disappointed to discover that the Octopus Tree didn't actually grow real octopi. D:" width="218" border="0" height="164">

Later. . .

I'm going to find myself a baby octopi somewhere else, then, since the tree is lacking in such. >=/
I'm sure there's another sea-creature-orchard around here somewhere...

Later. . .

OOH! we're in Tillamook! :D Haha, that makes me think of Lois.
I wonder where the cheese factory is?
....THERE IT IS! :D

" width="232" height="175">

Later. . .

Woo! An eventful two hours! :D
First, we got incredibly lost in Portland trying to get to Powell's book store. D:
Oh, and we ended up at a strip club, which was fun. =/
When we finally got there.... oh, my dear lordy lordy, this place could be my only form of heaven.
There were like, five floors, all entirely FILLED with books. I'd be shocked if there was a book that they DIDN'T have. :D
Oh. and I found myself a baby octopi there. :DDD
Since my chances of talking mom into getting another iguana are actually pretty slim, I decided to go ahead and name him Boo Radley. :D
But if I get an iguana, Mr. Octopus is getting a name change.

This is my octopi. His name is Boo Radley. " width="161" border="0" height="120">

Later. . .

HAHAHA! My dad and stepmom are talking about the moon controling the tide. >.<
Hee Hee. This makes me think of Nin and our dance. :D
THE

CONTROLS THE

THAT CONTROLS THE

THAT CONTROL YOUR

Monday.

So, you're not going to believe what happened after we got back to camp last night.
We pull up to the front gate, and this ranger guy approaches the car.
"You must be, let me guess... Wendy... Stewart?"
And that's when we remembered the dogs. D:
In the midst of getting desperately lost in downtown Portland for hours and seeing all the tourist attractions- three homeless shelters, a strip club, and a hooker- YES, even a hooker- we had forgotten the fact that we had furry friends who had stayed behind on our little expedition.
"There was a situation with your dogs..."
"Oh, no... oh no. Crap. No. oh no."
Basically, Lacey, a two-year-old pitbull pup, got out of her harness.
"I noted that it was a FULL BODY harness, wasn't it?"
"Yeah, we got it because she figured out how to get her collar off."
"Well, it's beyond me how she managed it, but she got out of her harness, too!"

After Lacey broke loose, leaving our other dog, Cosmo, behind, she proceeded to terrorize the other campers and their dogs in the area.
"We were getting a ton of reports of a loose dog, and after main complaints, for the safety of others, we attempted to re-harness her."
OOH. Good luck with THAT. =/
I guess she led them in a wild goose chase all over the freaking globe- and she started getting aggressive.
"We chased her all over- from the camp, to the OTHER SIDE of the camp, to the beach, to the main entrance up here... it was insane."
As she got increasingly aggressive towards them, they called the sheriff in.
"She's a very, VERY good guard dog- very protective- and there's nothing wrong with that, you've got a good dog, but none of us could get near her."
So, the cop had had it. This crazy chase, which had been going on for a significant amount of hours, had left him flustered, and he was going to take her into the pound.
They didn't, though, because the nice ranger guy convinced him not to.
Finally, they just grabbed Lacey, threw her in the nearest tent, and zipped her inside.

We came back to see the entire tent moving, and Cosmo laying beside it guiltily. =/
All day, we've been getting comments like,
"So that's YOUR dog?"
"Your dog got loose while you were gone yesterday."
and thousands of dirty looks.
D:

Later. . .

Haha. Some girls just came up and were petting Lacey when one of them goes,
"Wait- isn't this the dog the cops were out here looking for yesterday?"
Looks like Lacey's got herself a bit of a reputation now. =]

Later. . .

Lovely.
We're having a bonfire out on the beach, and my brother is running around in the sand doing what he refers to as "The Clam Dance".
...Oh. Now it appears he has fallen into a hole in the dark.

Later. . .

Now he's decided to do a jig for us and sing a beautiful song.
"Oh, yipie I-oh, I just had SEX with a lot of these burgers! It felt good, but it felt like-"
"STOP, HAYDEN! JUST STOP RIGHT THERE!"
Then he started giggling like a woman and rolling around in the sand.
:D

Tuesday.

On our way back to the potato state! :D
I seriously don't think I've ever looked forward to doing laundry as much as I do right now. D:

Later. . .

TEE HEE. We just passed a place with a big sign that said "Adult Truck Stop".
Hayden wanted to know why only adults were allowed in there.
XD
Har dee har har.

Later. . .

Awww.... Home sweet FREAKING HOME! :D