Herring Hats and Fish Artillery, Party 1.

Fish Artillery Blog, part 1.

I'm reading those weird British-girl books again, and I'm quite intrigued by what I'm learning of the Viking heritage.

"Ja, and when I take you my bride, Rosie, to my people, they will laugh and sing and kill the herring and make hats with the herrings."
"...Is Sven saying his mum and dad are going to make you a herring hat?
"Yes! Exciting, isn't it?"

I decided I don't want a wedding ring when I get married, for I'd much rather have a herring hat.
Betsey and I decided my viking husband must have a big bushy beard, a lazy eye, hairy eye-lids, and a peg leg.
Talk about hotness. ;D

All this talk about herrings made me think of an idea I was discussing with Miles and Mike not too long ago:

FISH ARTILLERY.

So, it's a gun shaped like a fish.
That shoots OTHER, smaller fish.
At high speeds, like a machine gun.

Why, you ask?
Because there's no worse torture than being covered in fish, and the Fillet-O-Death™ shoots them out so fast that your enemy is covered almost instantly.



Only, there needs to be a way to keep these fish-based weapons hydrated.
Mike suggested that they should be kept in giant ice cubes.




The problem faced here is that once you encounter an enemy and you both draw your weapons, it becomes a race to see who can thaw their fish faster.
Once you and your foe have begun to rub your weapons vigorously[oh boy!] and breathing on them, or even resulting to trying to melt the cubes down with a lighter, one of you will no doubt fall victim to death by fish.




So, instead of becoming an English teacher, I'm going to the school for fish artillery- because there TOTALLY is one- and I'm going to major in creating the Fillet-O-Death™, the most advanced form of fish-based weaponry.
This will be revolutionary.