Don't move to Chihuahua if you don't speak dog.

I was glancing through my world Clock settings, and I started to wonder how some countries got their names. I mean, some are SO BIZARRE that I have to wonder what inspired them. This is the only theory that makes sense:

Explorer 1: "Okay, so, what should we name this little chunk of land here?"
Explorer 2: "Huh. I don't know. I feel like we've run out of options."
Explorer 1: "WAIT! I've got an idea!"
*slams hand down on keyboard*
Explorer 2: "Reykjavik? Okay, that works."

And that is how countries gained names like these:

Reykjavik
Ulaanbaataar
Tbilisi
Skopje
Nuku'alofa
Novosibirsk
Ljubljana
Krasnoyarsk
Guadalajara
Ekaterinburg

And some names were just in bad calls.

Pretoria:
It makes me think of a kingdom, for predators. Pretoria. I mean, I don't want to live somewhere where there is a likely chance that I can go outside without being eaten by a velocoraptor [which obviously still live in Pretoria]. That's just the kind of image I get from a name like Pretoria, and I wouldn't doubt that the only people who hear 'Pretoria' and say 'Gee, I want to move there!' are man-eating tigers and sharks.

Prague:
Sounds far to much like 'Plague'. In fact, I'll bet that's what it originally was called, but then when the plague came about, it originated THERE, and people just started calling the disease by its country of origin. In an attempt to cover this up, they changed the L to an R, and eventually everyone forgot that it's their fault for causing the plague and that such a hazardous country could cause another one at any second. But I haven't forgot, Prague.

Nice:
Obviously, it's not very nice there, but they named it Nice because they wanted people to think, 'Oh, it must be a really wonderful place!' but NO. It is DECEPTION, and you will not see me so easily fooled. I'll bet the local park is really a landfill with a broken swing set in the middle.

Manila:
Where mantilla envelopes were invented. How exciting.
Chihuahua:
The town is run by the little beasts. You'll be driving through, and you go into the gas station after filling your tank, wanting to pay for your fuel and buy a hot cup of coffee, and there'll be a little dog up at the counter. You try to explain that you want to put twenty dollars on pump eight, but he won't understand you because he doesn't speak English. NO, I'm not being racist. He doesn't speak Spanish EITHER, he speaks DOG. and so does everyone else in the town.
So if you don't speak dog, don't move to Chihuahua.

Brussels:
Brussel SPROUTS? Ew. I'm not moving to a town that sounds like brussel sprouts. Brussel sprouts are disgusting. And I don't think anyone else would ever want to move there either because NO BODY likes brussel sprouts.
Bangkok:
Need I say more?

So I've changed the clock on my phone to Ulaanbaataar time. Not very effective, considering it says it's five in the morning there, but still pretty sweet if you ask me.