Only possums can defeat Lord Voldemort.

As some of you probably already know, considering that this is all I ever talk about anymore, I've become incredibly obsessed with possums.
I literally can't get over how amazing they are. Correction, how AWESOME they are, because AWESOME rhymes with POSSUM. :D

So, what I've wanted more than anything in this world has been to become a teacher and raise a family. But over the past few weeks, that dream has changed drastically.
Now, rather than raise my kids in a house with a balcony, I've decided that I'd rather raise possums in a trailer.

I want to get one hundred and fifty of them and name them after the original one hundred and fifty Pokemon. :D

And I'd spend all my college money on over-ripened fruit and spaghetti to feed them.

It'll be brilliant.
Then, I can train them to fight crime.
Look, he's already got his game face on-

A single possum would be SO much more effective than an entire police force.
I mean, sure- cops do a FANTASTIC job and all, but a possum tops everything.
If you were robbing a bank, and you look down, and THIS THING is staring up at you from underneath the cash register-

You would drop the gun, drop to the floor, curl into the fetal position, and plead for mercy.
Am I right?
Damn right I am.

Also, since possums only live for three to five years, I'll breed them and name all their babies after different kinds of fruit.

I can't even begin to stress how excited I am for my future now.
Maybe I should drop out of school NOW, and start getting ready.
Or not. I mean, I hear they FINALLY teach you how to fight Lord Voldemort your senior year in the Boise Public School system, and my possums will need this valuable information.
So I'll stick around a little longer.

The best part of all this?
After a few years of raising possums in a trailer, I'll look like this: